Alright I have to admit

I’ve been hiding behind my words

My poems are not as deep as they could be

They are not as true as they appear.

Sure, some of myself leaks out within them

And sure, I try my best to open up

But to know I will post it

To know others will read it

It’s scary.

 

To know I can write whatever I wish

Open whatever part of myself I want

Show whatever memory I want shown

And to know that I hide behind rhyme

 

I hide behind form

Behind words that come so quickly to me

There are poems I post elsewhere

There are poems I’ve never posted at all

 

I am afraid to be judged by what I write

I am afraid to show too much of myself.

I admit it.

I have not embraced the poet in me seriously enough

I have not taken her seriously

I have not listened fully to her words.

 

You cannot force the music to come out

You cannot force a beautiful image by hazing it over with

Sugar crystals…

You cannot make the truth sweet

 

This poet is scratching to get out

To be heard

To be recognized

But first I need to fully recognize her myself.

 

I admit it.

I have work to do.

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