Lines

I think I’m losing my mind
Trying to stay inside the lines
Of what the world expects
From a self-anxious wreck
Of a writer and an artist
With her mind up in the clouds
Of a lonely little girl
Turned to a young woman now
Who takes hold of the pencil
Like it’s the cure to her disease
Scribbling on the notepad
A thousand words at least
Not understanding what she wants to say
Before she sees it in black and white
Needing to get feedback from the voices
That whisper within her mind
She’s a hundred different people
All parading around as one
Not children stacked up on each other
A trench coat making adult the sum
Demons and angels instead with one another
Dancing under a full moon bright as the sun
A thousand worlds with twirls in the storyline unfurled
Mirth and rebirth creating a thousand shining pearls
On the necklace that is her thoughts
Spun into a cotton candy weave
Writers block is her clots
Sending her into a seizing heap
So I think I’m losing my mind
And it makes me want to weep
Trying to stay inside the lines
So I can finally be
Myself.
But I am myself without the lines
I’m an ink splotched mess
Sure I’m a little anxious
But my energy passed the test
That self doubt had given me
With a neat little bow
Telling me I should settle for less
As if I would never know
That I can paint the world around me
With the one inside my mind
so now I’m taking a big pencil
and erasing all the lines
that society tries to draw on me
to keep my colors in
if it’s wrong to be myself
then I want to live in sin.
I think I’m losing my mind.